I forgive myself for accept and allow
myself to press my self to be perfect.
I forgive myself for accept and allow
myself to get on my nerves toward myself, be apathy to my self , I didn’t
realize that I am less than the thought and emotions , anxiety, fear.
I forgive myself that I accept and allow
myself make an evaluation at my preparing performance to be bad, not ok,
unacceptable, need to be fraustrated , I didn’t realize that I do not need
these judgments /polarity to against, defeat and push myself mentally and I can
feel it also manifested and accumulated in my chest which obstacle my breath in
and out.
I forgive myself that I accepted and
allowed my self to feel deeply sorry to myself that I abuse my physical by
these garbage thoughts which I could totally learn to aware and stop them: I am
not a qualified human being to be alive, because I am not intellectual or
talented in language and writing.
I forgive myself that I accept and allow
myself to feel deeply sorrow because I want to boost myself to be more , more
than I was.
I forgive myself that I accept and allow my
self to press my chest that it turns into a hard, tight, harsh, sever, full of
disappointed thoughts: I am disappointed to you because you are not perfect
enough ,you need to speed up you are too lazy rather than do it slowly but
surely, in your own tempo, and in discipline, without so much pressure and
negative-positive polarities cycling monologue .
I forgive myself that I accepted and
allowed myself to be anxious, when I find that I was giving pressures to my
body and think in useless way ,I could stop and back to here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and
allowed myself to be anxious, fear,furry, sorrow, hate, disappointed,
frustrated , must be hurry, could stop my self, I could take a more deep breath
to breathe the fresh air, relive my chest though it contained so much thoughts
at this point which almost makes me to be nausea, dizzy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and
allowed to push my self to be good instead of realize my true value is no less
than any other creature and equal and one to all, and I do not aware that I am
here, I am the value ,do not to be approved by anyone or anything.
I forgive myself that I accepted and
allowed myself to crumble my confidence,so as to make/define myself ”better” ,”sooner”
,”advanced” ,”worse””deteriorate””superior””inferior””down””up”, I didn’t see
that I don’t need these recycling (+ ,- )evaluation to separate myself in
several points: I need/desire to be good, fear to be bad, I need/desire to
learn faster and apprehensive these article faster than I can do, I am afraid
to fall behind the instructions, which I can totally back to my learning schedule
by revise and adjustment, rather than just give up and do it in a rush. And I promise
myself to keep writing and return to breath , stop the thoughts doing damage to my body.
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